One of the biggest dilemmas of an entrepreneur is: “Should I work with friends or not?”. The conventional answer is a resounding “NO.” The horror stories are countless: destroyed friendships, bankrupt businesses, resentments that last a lifetime.
And, for a long time, I believed that too. But then I realized that the problem wasn’t with “friendship.” The problem was the lack of an objective system for measuring performance.
The truth is that many of us have absolutely brilliant people in our inner circle in their field. It would be crazy not to collaborate with them just out of fear of subjectivity. The solution is brutally simple: the KPI (Key Performance Indicator).
The KPI is the objective “boss” of the company. Here’s how I use it.
Step 1: Set the KPI BEFORE Hiring. Test It on Your Own Skin.
You can’t ask someone to achieve a goal you don’t understand yourself. Before bringing anyone into a new role, I do the following exercise: I try to do the job myself. The logic is simple: if I, not being a specialist, can achieve a certain result, then a dedicated expert should achieve, at least, the same result. This transforms a vague objective into a concrete, reality-tested KPI.
Step 2: The KPI Is the Contract. But the “Boss” Is the Investor.
Once established, the KPI becomes the non-negotiable law of the role. When I bring a friend on board, the conversation is direct and transparent. I use a simple technique to completely eliminate any personal pressure: I invoke an “invisible boss.”
The conversation goes like this: “Look, you’re my friend and I respect you. But in this project, I’m not alone. I have an investor, and they have no rules, except for one: results. I’ve been given these results to achieve for this role. This is the KPI. As long as it’s met, we have total autonomy. If not, unfortunately, the collaboration ends, because otherwise I risk losing the investment and can’t pay anyone.”
This approach works wonders:
- It eliminates personal conflict: I’m no longer “me, the bad boss.” We are “us, the team, against an objective imposed by an external force.”
- It increases responsibility: The stakes become much higher. It’s not about pleasing me, but about ensuring the survival and success of the entire company.
- It stops insistence: Any future negotiation about performance stops here. The rules aren’t mine, so I can’t bend them.
Step 3: Total Freedom Within Performance. Results, Not Presence.
This is the second part of my philosophy, possibly the most important. Once I’ve established a clear KPI, I no longer care about anything else.
I don’t like and refuse to track people: how many times they go to the bathroom, if they were an hour late to work, or if they wake up later. These are vanity metrics for weak managers.
The only thing that matters to me is results.
- If a person achieves their KPI working 4 hours a day from a beach, they’re a hero. I love and respect them.
- If a person sits 12 hours at the office but doesn’t deliver, they have a problem.
This approach based on “radical autonomy in exchange for radical responsibility” attracts “A-players” (top performers). Talented people hate micro-management but love being judged by results. Mediocre people hide behind “presence” at the office.
Conclusion: The System That Frees Everyone
This three-step system – tested KPI, the “invisible boss,” and exclusive focus on results – is the only way to work with top talent (whether friends or not) without destroying relationships.
It eliminates subjectivity, reduces conflicts, and creates a culture of performance and freedom. Build such a system and you’ll be able to work with anyone, maintaining both business performance and respect in personal relationships.
